How Often Should You Have Sex When Trying to Conceive?

The "Save Up" Myth

One of the most persistent TTC myths is that abstaining from sex for several days will "save up" sperm and improve your chances when you finally time it right. The research tells a different story.

While it's true that sperm count increases slightly with 2-3 days of abstinence, sperm quality actually declines. A study from the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology found that men who ejaculated daily for seven days had lower levels of DNA fragmentation in their sperm compared to those who abstained. That matters because DNA fragmentation is associated with lower fertilization rates, poorer embryo development, and higher miscarriage risk.

Sperm stored in the testes for more than about 2 days are subjected to increasing oxidative stress, which damages DNA integrity. Fresh sperm — sperm that have been recently produced and haven't been sitting in storage — are healthier sperm.

What the Numbers Show

Research on nearly 18,000 couples trying to conceive provides clear guidance on frequency:

• Sex every day during the fertile window: approximately 25% chance of conceiving that cycle
• Sex every other day during the fertile window: approximately 22% chance of conceiving
• Sex once per week: approximately 10% chance of conceiving

The difference between daily and every-other-day sex is 3 percentage points — statistically real but practically tiny. If daily sex feels like a chore, forced, or stressful, switching to every other day costs you almost nothing in terms of conception probability.

The Fertile Window: When It Matters Most

Timing matters far more than frequency. An egg lives only 12-24 hours after ovulation. Sperm can survive up to 5 days in the female reproductive tract (though most die within 48-72 hours). This creates a roughly 6-day fertile window: the 5 days before ovulation and the day of ovulation itself.

The highest-probability days are the 2 days before ovulation and ovulation day. If you can only manage a few days, focus there. Here's how to identify your window:

• OPK strips: A positive ovulation test means you'll likely ovulate within 12-36 hours. Have sex that day and the next.
• Cervical mucus: Egg-white cervical mucus (clear, stretchy, slippery) signals peak fertility. When you see it, it's go time.
• BBT tracking: Temperature rises after ovulation, so BBT confirms you ovulated but doesn't predict it in advance. Use it alongside OPKs for the full picture.
• Wearables: Devices like Tempdrop track temperature continuously while you sleep for more accurate ovulation detection.

Special Situations

Low sperm count

Counterintuitively, men with low sperm counts may benefit from more frequent ejaculation, not less. A 2016 study found that men with decreased sperm counts who ejaculated twice in one hour actually produced better quality sperm in the second sample. The ASRM's official guidance: for men with low counts, sex every 1-2 days during the fertile window is still optimal.

When sex becomes stressful

Performance pressure is real. If timed sex is causing anxiety, erectile dysfunction, or relationship strain, consider the "every 2-3 days throughout the cycle" approach recommended by the NHS. This removes the pressure of pinpointing ovulation while still ensuring sperm are present when the egg arrives. It's less "optimized" but far more sustainable — and sustainability matters more than optimization when the average couple takes 6-12 months to conceive.

After a long abstinence period

If you haven't had sex (or your partner hasn't ejaculated) in a week or more, the first ejaculation may contain older, more damaged sperm. Consider a "clearing" ejaculation a day or two before the fertile window begins, then resume regular frequency. This ensures the sperm that matter most are freshly produced.

What About Position, Timing of Day, or Lying Down After?

There is no evidence that any sexual position improves conception rates. Sperm reach the cervix within seconds of ejaculation — gravity doesn't meaningfully affect this. Lying down for 15 minutes afterward is a common recommendation, but research has not shown it makes a statistically significant difference.

As for time of day: some studies suggest sperm concentration and motility are slightly higher in the morning, but the differences are small enough that the best time to have sex is whenever it works for both of you.

The Bottom Line

The research is refreshingly simple: have sex every 1-2 days during your fertile window. Don't save up sperm. Don't stress about daily vs. every-other-day — the difference is negligible. Use OPKs or cervical mucus to identify your window, then show up.

And if you've been trying for 12 months (or 6 months if you're over 35) without success, it's time to see a specialist — not to have sex more often. Frequency isn't the problem at that point; something else may need attention.