Trying to Conceive: Your Complete Month-by-Month Guide

Before You Start TTC: The Preconception Phase

Ideally, give yourself 1-3 months to prepare before actively trying. This prep time sets you up for success and gives important nutrients time to build up in your system.

Your Preconception Checklist

✓ Start a prenatal vitamin

Begin at least one month before TTC—three months is even better. The folic acid (or methylfolate) in prenatals helps prevent neural tube defects, which form in the first 28 days of pregnancy, often before you know you're pregnant.

✓ Schedule a preconception appointment

Meet with your OB-GYN or midwife to discuss your plans. They'll review your health history, medications, and any conditions that might affect pregnancy. Get up to date on vaccinations and recommended screenings.

✓ Address lifestyle factors

• Quit smoking (both partners)
• Reduce alcohol to minimal or none
• Assess your weight and make gradual changes if needed
• Review medications with your doctor (some aren't safe during pregnancy)
• Limit caffeine to under 200mg/day

✓ Learn your cycle basics

Start tracking your periods to understand your cycle length. Download a fertility app and begin learning about ovulation. Consider buying some ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) to have on hand.

✓ Build your TTC toolkit

➡️ Related: Best TTC Starter Kit: Everything You Need | Complete Preconception Checklist

Month 1: The Exciting Beginning

What to Expect

Month one is full of hope and excitement. You're officially trying! Everything feels possible. Many couples feel a mix of anticipation and slight nervousness—totally normal.

The reality: even with perfect timing, healthy couples only have about a 20-25% chance of conceiving in any given cycle. Getting pregnant on the first try is actually the exception, not the rule.

Your Month 1 Action Plan

1. Track your fertile window

Use OPKs starting about 4 days before your expected ovulation. Pay attention to cervical mucus changes. When you get "egg white" mucus or a positive OPK, it's go time.

2. Have sex every 1-2 days during your fertile window

Focus on the 5 days before ovulation through ovulation day. Every other day is sufficient—you don't need to have sex daily.

3. Use fertility-friendly lubricant if needed

Regular lubricants can impair sperm motility. If you need lubrication, switch to Pre-Seed, Conceive Plus, or another fertility-friendly option.

4. Take your prenatal daily

This should already be a habit by now. Keep going!

5. Wait to test

The two-week wait (TWW) begins after ovulation. Try to wait until the day of your expected period—testing too early often gives false negatives.

Mindset Tips for Month 1

• Enjoy this exciting time, but manage expectations
• Don't over-analyze every symptom (early pregnancy and PMS symptoms overlap significantly)
• If it doesn't happen this month, remember: that's completely normal

➡️ Related: Two Week Wait: Complete Survival Guide

Months 2-3: Finding Your Rhythm

What to Expect

By now, you've probably had at least one negative pregnancy test. This is where many couples experience their first disappointment. Know that you're still well within the normal timeframe.

About half of couples will conceive by month 3. If you haven't yet, you're not falling behind—you're in excellent company.

Your Months 2-3 Action Plan

1. Refine your tracking

Look at what you learned last month. Did you ovulate when you expected? Were your OPKs clear? Use this cycle to improve your timing.

2. Add BBT tracking (optional)

If you want more data, consider adding basal body temperature charting. It won't help you predict ovulation this cycle, but over 2-3 months, it reveals your patterns.

3. Optimize sperm health

Encourage your partner to take a male fertility supplement with zinc, folate, and antioxidants. Avoid hot tubs, saunas, and laptop heat. Consider boxer briefs instead of tight underwear.

4. Focus on overall health

• Eat a balanced diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains
• Get regular exercise (moderate—not extreme)
• Prioritize sleep (7-9 hours)
• Manage stress through activities you enjoy

Mindset Tips for Months 2-3

• Don't compare yourself to friends who got pregnant quickly—every journey is different
• Limit time on TTC forums if they increase your anxiety
• Keep doing things you enjoy—don't put your whole life on hold
• Talk openly with your partner about feelings

Months 4-6: The Patience Phase

What to Expect

If you're in this phase without a positive test, frustration is normal. The initial excitement has faded, and the wait can feel interminable. This is often when the emotional weight of TTC really hits.

But here's the encouraging truth: you're still in the normal window. About 80% of couples conceive within 6 months. If you haven't yet, you're likely in the 20% who just need a bit more time.

Your Months 4-6 Action Plan

1. Review your data

By now, you have several cycles of tracking data. Look for patterns:

• Are you ovulating consistently?
• Is your luteal phase at least 10 days?
• Are you timing intercourse correctly?

2. Consider upgrading your tracking tools

If basic OPKs aren't giving you clear results, a fertility monitor can provide more detailed hormone data.

3. Supplement strategically

Some evidence-based supplements may support fertility:

• CoQ10: Supports egg and sperm quality (especially helpful over age 35)
• Vitamin D: Deficiency is linked to fertility issues—get your levels tested
• Omega-3s: Support overall reproductive health

4. If you're 35+, schedule an appointment

Guidelines recommend that women 35 and older see a fertility specialist after 6 months of trying. Don't wait—getting evaluated early gives you more options.

Mindset Tips for Months 4-6

• Give yourself permission to feel disappointed—it doesn't mean you're not grateful or hopeful
• Consider therapy or a TTC support group
• Set boundaries around pregnancy announcements and baby showers if needed
• Find ways to feel in control: learn about fertility, optimize what you can

➡️ Related: TTC After 35: What Changes and What Helps

Months 7-9: Evaluating Your Approach

What to Expect

At this point, the statistics are still in your favor—most couples will conceive by month 12. But it's also reasonable to start asking questions and doing deeper evaluation.

Your Months 7-9 Action Plan

1. Consider initial testing (even if under 35)

While official guidelines say to wait until 12 months if you're under 35, many doctors will run basic fertility tests sooner. These provide peace of mind or identify issues early:

• Day 3 bloodwork: FSH, LH, estradiol, AMH (ovarian reserve)
• Progesterone test: Day 21 (or 7 days post-ovulation) to confirm ovulation
• Semen analysis: Simple test for male partner
• Thyroid panel: Thyroid issues can affect fertility

At-home options exist if you want data before a doctor visit:

2. Rule out common issues

About 30% of fertility issues are female factors, 30% male factors, 30% both, and 10% unexplained. Both partners should be evaluated.

3. Make lifestyle changes you've been putting off

Now's the time to fully commit to any changes you've been half-implementing: consistent exercise, dietary improvements, stress reduction techniques.

4. Read and learn

Knowledge is empowering. Two excellent books for this phase:

Mindset Tips for Months 7-9

• Feeling anxious or sad is valid—this is hard
• Focus on what you can control; let go of what you can't
• Consider taking a month "off" from intense tracking if you're burned out
• Remember that needing help doesn't mean failure

Months 10-12: Decision Point

What to Expect

By month 12, about 90% of couples will have conceived. If you haven't, it's time to see a specialist—this is the standard recommendation for women under 35.

"Infertility" after 12 months is a clinical definition, not a judgment. It simply means it's time for professional evaluation and potentially treatment.

Your Months 10-12 Action Plan

1. Schedule with a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE)

An RE specializes in fertility and has more advanced training than a general OB-GYN. Start researching specialists now so you're ready at the 12-month mark (or sooner).

2. Compile your tracking data

Bring your charts, app data, and any test results to your appointment. This information helps the RE understand your cycle and avoid redundant testing.

3. Learn about next steps

A typical fertility workup includes:

• HSG (hysterosalpingogram): Checks if fallopian tubes are open
• Ultrasound: Examines ovaries and uterus
• Complete hormone panel
• Semen analysis (if not already done)

4. Discuss treatment options

Depending on findings, options may include:

• Medicated cycles: Clomid or Letrozole to stimulate ovulation
• IUI (intrauterine insemination): Placing sperm directly in the uterus
• IVF (in vitro fertilization): Fertilizing eggs outside the body

➡️ Related: When to See a Fertility Doctor

Mindset Tips for Months 10-12

• Seeking help is a proactive, empowering choice
• Many couples who need treatment still conceive—there are more options than ever
• This isn't the end of your journey; it's a new chapter
• Lean on your support system

Beyond 12 Months: Moving Forward

If you've been trying for over a year, you've likely experienced a range of emotions: hope, despair, anger, grief, determination. All of these are valid.

The good news is that treatment is highly effective for many couples. According to CDC data, about 65% of couples who pursue fertility treatment eventually have a baby. Many others conceive naturally while waiting for or between treatments.

What Happens with a Fertility Specialist

Diagnosis phase: Testing to identify any underlying causes

Treatment plan: Customized based on your specific situation

Ongoing monitoring: Regular appointments to track progress and adjust

Taking Care of Yourself

Extended TTC takes a toll. Prioritize your mental and emotional health:

• Consider therapy with a fertility-specialized counselor
• Join support groups (RESOLVE has local and online options)
• Maintain activities and relationships outside of TTC
• Communicate openly with your partner—this journey tests relationships
• Set boundaries around fertility-related conversations and events

The Emotional Journey of TTC

We've covered the practical side, but let's acknowledge the emotional reality of TTC. This journey can be a rollercoaster, and your feelings deserve space.

Common Emotions at Each Stage

Early months (1-3): Excitement, hope, mild anxiety, impatience

Mid months (4-6): Frustration, disappointment, "why not us?", isolation

Later months (7-12): Anxiety, grief, jealousy, determination, exhaustion

Extended TTC (12+): Deep grief, anger, hope and despair cycling, identity questions

Coping Strategies That Help

• Acknowledge your feelings without judgment—they're all valid
• Limit "symptom spotting" and obsessive Googling during the TWW
• Find your people—others who understand the journey
• Practice self-compassion—talk to yourself like you'd talk to a friend
• Take breaks when needed—a month off from tracking isn't giving up
• Maintain your identity beyond "person trying to conceive"

Supporting Each Other as Partners

TTC affects both partners, sometimes differently. Tips for staying connected:

• Check in regularly about how you're each feeling
• Acknowledge that you may cope differently—and that's okay
• Keep some activities that are just about enjoying each other
• Consider couples counseling if communication gets strained
• Make decisions together about next steps

TTC Essentials Checklist

Here's a summary of what you need at each stage:

Before TTC

• ☐ Prenatal vitamin (start 1-3 months ahead)
• ☐ Preconception doctor appointment
• ☐ Fertility tracking app downloaded
• ☐ OPKs purchased

Months 1-3

• ☐ OPKs for ovulation detection
• ☐ Fertility-friendly lubricant (if needed)
• ☐ Pregnancy tests (for end of TWW)

Months 4-6

• ☐ BBT thermometer (optional)
• ☐ Male fertility supplement for partner
• ☐ CoQ10 supplement (especially if 35+)

Months 7+

• ☐ Advanced fertility monitor (optional)
• ☐ At-home fertility tests or doctor evaluation
• ☐ Fertility specialist research